The Best Christmas Scenes and Stories!

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat, but there’s nothing quite as Christmassy as a Christmas story: Christmas how it should be. Where it snows, and Father Christmas brings presents. And so to get you in the mood, here are my selection of Christmas scenes and stories from (mainly) children’s books. Do you agree with the list, or have I missed something? Leave a comment, and let me know!
 

Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame

There can be few things as quintessentially English as The Wind in the Willows, and here Kenneth Grahame delivers a very English Christmas indeed. Mole and Ratty are taking a winter’s walk, when Mole smells as scent that’s familiar yet lost: his little house that he hasn’t returned to since the day he met Ratty. He’s filled with both homesickness for Mole End, and shame at its dreary shabbiness. Ratty is (as ever) the steadier of the two, and calms and comforts Mole, whilst praising his home. They’re then joined by some field-mice carollers, who accompany them for a miniature feast and mulled ale: “soon every field-mouse was sipping and coughing and choking (for a little mulled ale goes a long way) and wiping his eyes and laughing and forgetting he had ever been cold in all his life.” The scene raises Mole’s spirits from despair to joy in the company of friends, and in home comforts, which are the twin pleasures of all sensible animals in Wind in the Willows. It also nicely shows the underlying structure to Mole and Ratty’s bromance. A lovely scene, and one that will never cease to make me smile.

The Snowman, Raymond Briggs
There are very few cases where an adapted film is superior to the original book, but I think in this case, the wonderful cartoon definitely manages it. It’s never been bettered (sorry, Snowdog; although you are cute). The book is very charming however, and like the film, is entirely wordless. The tragic final picture will haunt snowy days forever, but my favourite part is the sudden run, jump and soar into the air. Absolute magic.



The Christmas Carol, Charles Dickens
If you don’t count that one with the baby, this must be the Christmas story. It’s a great tale of redemption: we can really enjoy Scrooge’s miserly villainy, because we know he’ll come good in the end. Once he’s met the lovely Ghost of Christmas Past, the jolly Ghost of Christmas Present, and the deeply scary Ghost of Christmas Future, he repents of his meanness and starts to care about others. Mr Fezziwig’s party is a fun Christmassy scene, but the classic moment has to be when Scrooge awakes on Christmas morning: “What’s to-day, my fine fellow?” asked Scrooge. “Why, CHRISTMAS DAY.” “Do you know the Poulterer’s? Do you know whether they’ve sold the prize Turkey that was hanging up there? Go and buy it. I’ll send it to Bob Cratchit’s!” whispered Scrooge, rubbing his hands and splitting with a laugh.” What a classic. And The Muppets Christmas Carol is of course the best film version.

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, CS Lewis
The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe is a controversial one. Tolkien hated it, and one can see why: having Father Christmas (or indeed, Christmas at all) in a world without humans is rather a surprise. But give logic a rest, and enjoy the fairytale magic of the scene. In the bewitched land of Narnia, where it is “Always winter, and never Christmas”, the goodies are trying to reach Aslan in order to defeat the White Witch, and rescue their turncoat brother Edmund. Are the sleigh bells they can hear the White Witch’s? Don’t worry, it’s just Father Christmas! Peter gets a sword and shield (“Tools, not toys,”), Susan gets a bow, a quiver of arrows, and a magic horn, and Lucy gets a healing potion and a dagger. Poor Edmund never gets a thing from Father Christmas, who never seems to make a repeat appearance, so it just goes to show – if you make his naughty list, even becoming a king and being titled “the Just” isn’t enough to get you back on the nice list.

It may be tempting to dismiss the Father Christmas scene as silly, but it shows that the White Witch’s power is waning – and it’s an essential plot device for Prince Caspian. And it’s nice and Christmassy. So there!


The Empty Stocking, Richard Curtis and Rebecca Cobb
Speaking of naughty lists, Richard Curtis, he of Blackadder fame – alright, and Four Weddings and Notting Hill – has written a picturebook. And the result is as fun as you’d hope, even if it isn’t an out and out comedy. Santa is coming, which is fine for Sam, who is a good little girl. But what about Charlie, who can be really
rather naughty? Santa comes, and this being a story, things don’t turn out quite as they should do. Which twin will wake up to an empty stocking? The illustrations are lovely, with pictures by Rebecca Cobb, whose story Aunt Amelia was included in my Top Picturebooks of 2013.

 

Jesus’ Christmas Party, Nicholas Allan
And yes, another Nicholas Allan picturebook! His book Heaven appears on my ‘Picturebooks dealing with death’ post, and The Royal Nappy is on the ‘Royal baby’ post. But what can I say, he makes good books! Here, the Innkeeper is trying to have a good night’s sleep, but keeps getting interrupted. Firstly by Mary and Joseph, then some shepherds, and three kings – and as for those angels…! Nicholas Allan sometimes deals with serious topics, but is always fun – and this is as fun and humorous a nativity story as you could want. NB: His book "Father Christmas Needs a Wee" doesn't count as a serious book, though it probably feels pretty serious to him.

 Hogfather, Terry Pratchett

Alright, this one isn’t even Christmas, actually. Because on the Discworld, people celebrate Hogswatch, when the Hogfather rides his magical flying pigs, and delivers presents. But the Hogfather has disappeared, and the one person who can take his place for the night is… Death, with the help of his granddaughter, Susan. Even though Death is, well, Death, he’s a decent sort of chap. He cares. And he knows that if he fails his mission – then the sun won’t rise the next morning. As funny, inventive and insightful as ever, this Discworld novel makes for a great alternative seasonal treat. The standout scene isn’t especially… Hogswatchy, but a discussion between Death and Susan on the nature of the Hogfather (or indeed, Father Christmas):

“All right," said Susan. "I'm not stupid. You're saying humans need... fantasies to make life bearable."
REALLY? AS IF IT WAS SOME KIND OF PINK PILL? NO. HUMANS NEED FANTASY TO BE HUMAN. TO BE THE PLACE WHERE THE FALLING ANGEL MEETS THE RISING APE.
"Tooth fairies? Hogfathers? Little—"
YES. AS PRACTICE. YOU HAVE TO START OUT LEARNING TO BELIEVE THE LITTLE LIES.
"So we can believe the big ones?"
YES. JUSTICE. MERCY. DUTY. THAT SORT OF THING.
"They're not the same at all!"
YOU THINK SO? THEN TAKE THE UNIVERSE AND GRIND IT DOWN TO THE FINEST POWDER AND SIEVE IT THROUGH THE FINEST SIEVE AND THEN SHOW ME ONE ATOM OF JUSTICE, ONE MOLECULE OF MERCY. AND YET—Death waved a hand. AND YET YOU ACT AS IF THERE IS SOME IDEAL ORDER IN THE WORLD, AS IF THERE IS SOME...SOME RIGHTNESS IN THE UNIVERSE BY WHICH IT MAY BE JUDGED.
"Yes, but people have got to believe that, or what's the point—"
MY POINT EXACTLY.”

 Lollipop and Grandpa’s Christmas Baby, Penny Harper and Cate James
Lollipop and Grandpa is a fairly new picturebook series, and a thoroughly charming one, too. They introduce childhood experiences (going swimming, exploring the back garden, having a wobbly tooth etc) and use imagination to turn the day into an adventure! This book manages to combine two picturebook staples: Christmas, and babies. Lollipop is sure that her new baby brother is going to ruin Christmas. But Grandpa is on hand to help out, and even if they can’t cook a turkey, they can still make it a fun Christmas! And does the baby spoil Christmas? What do you think?



Harry Potter, JK Rowling
Thanks to Harry Potter’s annual structure, it fits nicely with special times of the year (Hogwarts students: be extra careful in Spring Term, as the story’s climax will be approaching), which means that there are lots of Harry Potter Christmasses to choose from. But as wonderful as Hogsmeade is, the one that sticks in my mind the most is his very first Christmas at
Hogwarts (in Philosopher’s Stone), where Harry discovers the Mirror of Erised. Erised – desire, backwards – “shows us nothing more or less than the deepest, most desperate desire of our hearts.... However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.” Harry aches to be in a loving family with his parents, and you can feel his heart breaking. Beautiful but melancholy.
 

Compare that with Harry’s final Christmas in the series, (Deathly Hallows) where Harry returns to the house his parents died for the first time. Standing in the graveyard, he discovers their graves, whilst Hermione hears the carol concert inside the church, and realises that it’s Christmas Eve. The (once again) beautiful melancholy is interrupted by one of the creepiest passages in the whole series: Bathilda Bagshot turning into scary snake lady. After a frantic battle for their lives against Voldie’s snake and Horcrux Nagini, Harry spends Christmas Day out cold. Not a good one.


The Nativity Play, Nick Butterworth & Mick Inkpen/ The Christmas Show, Rebecca Patterson
Both of these picturebooks are a fun look at children’s nativity plays. Butterworth’s Nativity Play sticks more closely to the story of Jesus’ birth, but with bad donkey outfits. Patterson’s Christmas Show doesn’t go into the details of the Christmas story, because the narrator isn’t really listening, and isn’t sure which part he is. But it doesn’t matter if he sings the wrong lines – because his Granny thinks he was brilliant! The Nativity Play is perhaps the better one for families looking at the story of Christmas, but they’re both good entertainment.


It’s a long list, but there are plenty of others. What are your favourite Christmas scenes and stories? Should I have had The Night Before Christmas? How the Grinch Stole Christmas? The Nutcracker? (There’s a gorgeous pop-up version, that’s almost like being at the theatre!) Raymond Briggs of course did a good Father Christmas – and so did Tolkien. What are your favourite Nativity stories? Do leave a comment and let me know!

Nelson Mandela's "Long Walk to Freedom": The Picturebook

Nelson Mandela will be mourned around the world. He was a great man who inspired world change in a way only a few in a century manage; a man who united people in peace rather than war.

His death will no doubt cause some children to wonder who he was: knowledge one generation takes for granted becomes vague the next. If children want to find out more about him, they may like this picturebook for older children, based on his acclaimed autobiography, Long Walk to Freedom. It's an easy to read but informative book, and is a great starting point for children who want to learn more. Or for people who won't get through the 800 page book.

And if they like that, then they could find a worse book to follow it up with than Barack Obama's inspiring Of Thee I Sing.

SJ Bolton made me "Dead Scared". #ALLD13

Aylesbury Library is holding its first ever Literary Day on 30th November, which will be host to several great local authors. One of them is award-winning, bestselling crime-writer SJ Bolton...

Some crime novels are as cosy as tea and cake by the fireside; where everyone ends up happy (except for the deceased, presumably), and the world is a happy, bubbling place. And then there are crime novels that snare you like a fishhook to the mouth; where you know you shouldn't continue reading past dark, but you just can't put it down. Books where no one survives unscathed, and the world is a fearful place that ends ultimately in death.

Guess which sort of book SJ Bolton writes?

I was thirty pages into my first SJ Bolton book, when I realised I should have paid more heed to the title: Dead Scared. You know a writer is good when a table covered with pine cones is enough to give you goosebumps.

Dead Scared sees a surprising number of young, attractive and fragile Cambridge students committing suicide in a number of ghoulish and inventive ways. Student councillor and psychiatrist Evie Oliver is suspicious that these deaths are more than they appear - and she's also certain that someone keeps breaking into her house...

Lacey Flint, a young police officer with a past, is drafted in to pose undercover as a student so that she can observe the campus, and keep an eye out for any secretive suicide death cults. Of course we know that things don't go to plan - in fact, Bolton makes that plainly clear by her prologue: Lacey standing at the top of a building, dead-eyed and suicidal. And about to jump. The rest of the story is a countdown to this ending, and each new day in the story gives a heading of how many days to go to this cataclysmic event.

This is a modern gothic thriller that really knows how to deliver both the thrills and the chills in the story. It feels as if the story has been well-researched (hopefully not too deeply researched), and Bolton has a good understanding of the effects of the both media and social media. The characterisation is good - Lacey and Evie particularly have distinct, believable personalities and voices. Both characters had appeared in previous SJ Bolton novels: Lacey in Bolton's previous novel, Now You See Me (no magians here, but a Jack the Ripper copycat fixated on Lacey) , and Evie in Blood Harvest (a disturbing thriller revolving around the discovery of two children's bodies). Despite this, you don't have to have read the previous books to enjoy this one - and you learn Lacey and Evie's backstories as you get to know them better. As Evie pines for her lost love Harry, there's a good building romance between Lacey and her DI, Mark Joesbury, who's clearly in love with her. All the recurring characters are truly human, and are still dealing with the fallout from the earlier novels. 

But it's as a crime nasty where the book really stands out. The inventive suicides (I won't spoil them for you here, but one in particular was jaw-dropping), the pervading sense of fear and dread (I had to make sure my door was locked and the curtains were pulled tightly across the window!) and the clues, red herrings, and plot twists work really well. Of course, savvy crime readers watch out for the red herrings, but there was one clue in particular that I just couldn't decide upon. Some of the scene-setting descriptions were exceptionally creepy, and I couldn't help but repeat it out loud to my fellow library ninjas. Lines like, "The January chill comes drifting over the Fens and wraps itself across the city like a paedophile's hand round that of a small, unresisting child." And a villain who clings to her boyfriend "like a bad smell around rotting meat." The book opens with a graphic, detailed description of what happens when a person falls a long distance to their death, and despite the factual, deadpanned tone, I can imagine SJ Bolton cackling with glee as she wrote it. This is an author who knows how to scare people, and likes it.

If you don't like being scared, then keep away from this book. But if you like authors like Mark Billingham or Phil Rickman, or are on the lookout for a well-written, original thriller, then SJ Bolton is a must read.

I'm currently reading her latest novel, Like This, For Ever. It's about a serial killer targetting ten year old boys, and draining their blood. I don't think it's going to end well...

Don't forget, you can meet SJ Bolton at Aylesbury Library this Saturday (30th November), at 12.50, where she'll discuss the art of a good scare. Her Twitter page (@AuthorSJBolton) describes her as "Nice Author. Nasty Books. (Or should that be the other way round?)" I sure hope not, because if she's as nasty as her books, I don't think I'd survive meeting her!
Literally.

Ben's Best Picture Books of 2013!

There's just a few weeks to go until Christmas, and if you're wondering which Lego set to get the kids, or whether to buy a Furby instead, [helpful hint: don't] I'm offering my choices of the best picture books released this year, in case, y'know, you think they'd like a nice book too. My criteria - as a library ninja, and above all as a Dad - is that it looks good, it reads well, it's fun, and um, it's not overly long. (You know the sinking feeling you get at the kids' bedtime, when you're dying for a cup of tea, and they get out a rubbish, over-wordy picture book tome!) Oh, and they must be ones that stands up to re-reads, obviously. And preferably ones you can do good voices to!

My stand-out favourite is Cheese Belongs to You, by Alexis Deacon and Viviane Schwartz. It's a really simple book, that explains that This is Rat Law: CHEESE BELONGS TO YOU. But what if there's a bigger rat? Or a stronger rat? Or a faster rat? Then the cheese belongs to them. The calibre of rat keeps on escalating - but who will get the cheese in the end?

The text and pictures combine to make an erratic, messy marvel of a picture book. It's quirky. It's bonkers. And it's pitch perfect.

A close second is Very little Red Riding Hood, by Teresa Heapy and Sue Heap. Traditional retellings of fairy tales have gone out of fashion, but as this story shows, a twist done well is a good tale indeed! The major change here is Very little Red Riding Hood herself. No longer a meek, rather stupid girl, she is transformed into a bold, charismatic, irrepressible little girl, aged two or three. Foxy - I mean, the Big Bad Wolf - doesn't stand a chance. Great fun, and definitely one to read aloud.

You may think that my five year old boy liked Cheese Belongs to You with the squabbling rats, and my two year old girl liked Very Little Red Riding Hood, and not the other way round. But both children were really taken by both kids, and enthusiastically chose them multiple times.

Here are some other really good books from this year...

If you're looking for something charming, try these three:

The Midnight Library by Kazuno Kohara. If it's 'charming' you want, then you can't get better than Kazuno Kohara, whose books are ridiculously lovely. It features a library that's open every night for the woodland animals. The little librarian and her three owls will do whatever it takes to serve their borrowers. Sweet, and perfect for library lovers of all ages!


The Further Adventures of the Owl and the Pussycat by Julia Donaldson and Charlotte Voake. As the title suggests, this story continues the tale of the Owl and the Pussycat, told in the same verse structure as in Edward Lear's original. Julia Donaldson is a master of verse and rhyme, and takes Lear's mantle seamlessly. In my opinion, Charlotte Voake is at her best when illustrating animals, and the result of this collaboration is a really lovely book.

Abigail, by Catherine Rayner. Abigail the giraffe loves counting, but everything keeps moving! Will she ever be able to get her friends to do some counting with her? This is a really nice story - counting 1267 stars made my son go "Woh!" - but with Catherine Rayner, her gorgeous animal artwork is the true star.

If you're looking for something a bit raucous and anarchic, try these four:


Aunt Amelia, by Rebecca Cobb. Mum and Dad are away for the night, and the children are dismayed that Aunt Amelia is looking after them. She even has a list left by the parents: don't let the children get muddy, don't let them play by the pond. Only, Aunt Amelia is a crocodile, and the lists of Don'ts make good inspiration for a fun day out! Rebecca Cobb is a fairly new author/illustrator, but has already worked with some big names, such as Helen Dunmore, Richard Curtis, and Julia Donaldson, for last year's The Paper Dolls. I think we'll be seeing a lot more of her.

Ding Dong Gorilla, by Michelle Robinson and Leonie Lord. This absolute hoot of a story is a boy's explanation to his parents of the bad news about the pizza they ordered for dinner. Because when the doorbell  ding-donged, the boy answered it, but it wasn't the pizza - it was a gorilla! The gorilla causes chaos in the house, making mess after mess. The story builds up to the punch line about the bad news. The fun-filled pictures are a perfect match for the text, written very much in the boy's voice. Read it, but eat your pizza first.


Too Noisy! by Malachy Doyle and Ed Vere. Sam and his family are Bungles, and are always making loads of noise. But Sam, the middle child prefers to sit quietly and daydream and rhyme. So he wanders off into the woods. But when he can't find his way back, he realises that a bit of noise is a good thing! The text of the story is full of good noises for reading aloud, and Ed Vere's artwork is, as ever, great fun.

Primrose, by Alex T Smith. Primrose is a princess who wants to have fun; climb trees, play dressing-up, and bake cakes. But she's always told that "Princesses don't act like that!" The King and Queen don't know what to do with her, so they ask the prim, bossy Grandmama to help. Grandmama knows just how to fix things - but not in the way the King and Queen expect! This book has proven very popular with my daughter, in particular.

So there's my selection for the year - of course, there's still plenty of time to discover lots more lovely picture books! Have you discovered any good picture books this year? If so, let me know!

"Slated" by Teri Terry - British Dystopian Teen Fiction #ALLD13

On the 30th November, Aylesbury Library are having their first Literary Day, playing host to loads of great local authors. One of them is teen author - and ex-Princes Risborough librarian - Teri Terry...


Think of the modern trend of (often excellent) dystopian thrillers, you'll think of The Hunger Games (The film of part 2 - Catching Fire - is out in November). You may think of Divergent (film out next April), or Wool (film on its way). What you don't normally think of is the Buckinghamsire countryside! But that's what you get in Slated, the first of a trilogy by Bucks author Teri Terry. And yes, it's begun the long process of being made into a film, too.

Slated is set fifty years in the future, in a Britain where child and teen criminals have their memories wiped - slated - and are given a second chance in life. They have to relearn to walk, talk and re-adjust to life, and are given a new name and a new family. 'Slateds' are naive, trusting, incurious. They are happy, by and large - and a good thing too, because they wear levos, which monitor their mood, and causes blackouts and even death if the count drops too low.

A 16 year-old girl is slated, renamed Kyla, and given to a new family (in the Chiltern countryside). But Kyla finds she is not like other slateds - she has terrifying nightmares that may or may not be old memories. Extreme anger should make her black out, but it doesn't. And she begins to question things that mustn't be questioned. What happened in her old life? Why was she slated? These are dangerous questions, for the country is policed by the ominous Lorders, agents who bundle away undesirables, and the slightest misstep could see her "returned" - whatever that means.

Kyla soon finds that her questions are as dangerous to those around her as they are to herself. She quickly grows close to slated heartthrob Ben, and her indignant curiosity sparks changes his accepting nature, taking him on a path Kyla can't control.

The book is at its most intriguing when Kyla is trying to sort out the puzzle of her mind and her identity. The book explores muscle memory - her body knows how to do things she can't consciously do, and subconsciousness, and by the start of Fractured, it's sequel, it is dealing with something akin to multiple personality disorder. Kyla, herself, is fractured.

It's a lazy comparison to call Slated a British Hunger Games, and inaccurate for several reasons. The world of Slated is actually a lot more lifelike than most dystopias. It's governed by the Central Coalition (sound familiar?), and the changes within Britain are ones you could genuinely see become an issue, if we had the technology. But also, Slated is more of a slow burner than Hunger Games and the others. This isn't exactly a criticism, but it doesn't have the epic-ness of some other dystopian fiction. Not because it tries but fails, but because so much of the story is about what's going on within Kyla. Slated's climax is insular to Kyla - it will be intresting to see if they pull it off in the film (assuming - and hoping - it gets made). But be in no doubt, this is a great piece of fiction. It's clever, it's original, it's engaging. Slated sows the seeds for Fractured, which has more action in, and is bigger scale. And I can't wait to see how it all turns out when the final part of the trilogy, Shattered, is released next year.

And don't forget, you can meet the author Teri Terry as she discusses the books and the role of dystopian fiction in general at the Aylesbury Library Literary Day on 30th November!

"More Than This" - the new book by Patrick Ness

A teenage boy is alone in the wild sea. The furious waves drag him under, and the biting cold steals his strength away. Yet still he fights. Fights to live.

He dies.

The eagle-eyed among you may notice that this is the second book I'm reviewing on The Library Ninja that's written by Patrick Ness. I wrote about The Knife of Never Letting Go some months ago. Maybe I'm just unimaginative! Well, before you start getting judgemental, let me tell you that I read the two other Chaos Walking books, The Ask and the Answer and Monsters of Men, and I held back writing. Same with A Monster Calls, and with his recent adult novel The Crane Wife. I didn't want to repeat myself. (Yes, this is my sixth Patrick Ness book this year, and to be honest, I'm starting to develop something of a man-crush on him!) But More Than This is a new release, and it deserves to be written about. And it's quite simply a stunning piece of fiction.

More Than This begins with death, and moves on from there. Seth, a teenage boy, dies alone in the turbulent sea; his body dashed against the rocks, and his bones shattered. Some time later, he awakes in the worst place possible. Not Hell - not an obvious Hell, anyway - but the home of his childhood. Seth grew up in Britain until the age of ten, when the tragedy that tore his family apart - a tragedy that is somehow his fault - prompted them to uproot themselves and move to America. But this is not his neighbourhood as Seth remembers it: the entire area is deserted. Grass and weeds have grown as tall as him. There's a crater in the middle of the high street. What is this place? Is it his real childhood home, or something that his mind has somehow recreated? Is any of it real? And why are his dreams as vivid as real life? Could it be there was more to his life than he had ever fully realised?

Ness is a master of creativity, plot twists and ambiguity. You never know what's coming next. If you're worried this could be a heart-warming, life-affirming drama (perish the thought!), it's not. This isn't Mitch Albom, or Paulo Coelho, or It's a Wonderful Life. The story is painful and biting. Through Seth's dreams, we relive his life, and see what led to this point. But what is this point? Now THAT'S the question! Is there More Than This, and what is the 'more' that Seth has perhaps arrived at? The answer is one of the most breathtaking, boldest novels of the year.

What's With all the Royal Baby Books?

Prince George (the Baby of Britain) is being christened next week. Hurrah and huzzah! I'm assuming you've bought the plates, the £6,400 coin worth £5... the knitting pattern (from the author of the cult hit Knit Your Own Royal Wedding)...
After spending all that hard-earned dosh on royal knickknacks, why not read some royal baby books? You can always save the money, by borrowing them from the library!

Alexandra the Royal Baby Fairy by Daisy Meadows

Hot on the heels of topical bestseller Kate the Royal Wedding Fairy, 'Rainbow Magic' is back. Fairyland is so excited about the coming of the new royal baby, but when it goes missing, Alexandra recruits loyal fairy friends Rachel and Kirsty to help find the vanished tot. Hmmm, I wouldn't be 100% surprised if that pesky Jack Frost has something to do with it.

Now, for (in my opinion) two rather more charming royal baby books...

Baggy Brown and the Royal Baby by Mick Inkpen

Mick Inkpen, the creator of Wibbly Pig and Kipper, and the illustrator of Percy the Park Keeper, is practically picture book royalty himself, and any story by him is  him is a sure joy. This one was actually originally released five years ago, simply as Baggy Brown, but has been cunningly repackaged to fit with the birth of Prince George. It features the teddy Baggy Brown, who is born at Better Bears Ltd as the ultra-special edition teddy Number One, who is to be presented to Princess Sophie, the new Royal Baby of Thingland. But due to a mistake, a factory worker gives it to his son Alfie. When Alfie discovers the Number One bear has gone missing, he knows he has to return it - whatever it takes.

It's a fun, sweet novel that, in a turn of events, has Princess Sophie marry Alfie years later. Sophie - who is in fact a toddler for the bulk of this novel - is not the royal baby on the front cover. That's their son Jack. With that in mind, it has been slightly shoehorned in to fit the occasion, but it's still a warm, comfy fit.

The Royal Nappy by Nicholas Allan

In The Queen's Knickers, we learnt that the Queen has knickers for all sorts of occasions. If she has an important meeting, she'll have knickers to match. If her plane crashes, she's got the knickers to deal with it! The Royal Nappy (by the author of previously reviewed Heaven) is a sequel of sorts to The Queen's Knickers. Here, we discover all the different nappies that royal babies need, with the right flags for meeting heads of state, or super-slippery ones for skidding about Buckingham Palace when seeing his Great-Grandmother. We also learn that royal nappies are produced at the Royal Mint - and that sometimes, that can cause problems!

Unlike Baggy Brown's kingdom of Thingland, The Royal Nappy makes no attempt to hide the fact that this is Britain, and our royal family. The baby's father even looks like William! This is bonkers, laugh-out-loud funny, and as with The Queen's Knickers, it's one that's sure to make children laugh for a good many years to come. Of the royal baby books, this is my favourite, I think. I liked seeing the First World War royal baby in a pram-tank.

I haven't read any others, but The Royal Baby, by the Two Tonys (I mean, Tony Bradman and Little Princess creator, Tony Ross) is bound to be good. And Shhh! Don't Wake the Royal Baby! by Martha Mumford and Ada Grey looks fun too.

Is that enough royal baby books? It's not? Fine, have Ruby and the Royal Baby, from the Princess Katie's Kittens series, and have done with it!